Logan Roy had all the time in the world to do Sudoku but was too busy to take care with his penmanship. And so a crossout becomes an underline or vice versa and trusty o' Frank, in his role of the executor, finds a troubling piece of paper in a safe with some undated pencil markings. The adults in the room decide not to act on the comical speculation that life might be better for everyone if it ended up in a toilet and suddenly Kendall and Roman Roy are cooking up a Dunder Mifflin-type management structure in which big-picture and day-to-day tasks are separated like church and state with the promise that Shiv will be across everything and this will be the one time the siblings don't put a knife in someone's back to get a single step ahead.
Marcia was not shopping forever in Italy, she was only shopping until the man she claims to have been chatting intimately with every afternoon and evening dropped. Now she's making real estate deals with saliva promises and having security throw Kerry — her romantic successor — out back like George Bailey visiting an alternate timeline in It's a Wonderful Life. Colin is wearing jeans and has a kid and pops in for an ominous meeting with the only other person in the world who knows about Kendall's secret joyride and coverup.
Matsson isn't about to let anything or anybody interfere with his annual corporate retreat and simply cannot stomach giving the siblings five minutes to huddle on strategy even if their father is still at the mortuary. Oskar sends his condolences (bad one, man) but the deal must go forward when this whole midsommar off-site winds down.
Greg is also on a piece of paper but that comes with a question mark. Karl emasculates Tom, who has lost all the swagger gained through years and years of social climbing and now has the hang-dog look of Mondale begging for any leftover scraps. Connor has no time for the coronation demolition derby, too busy saying the biggest number of $63 million and planning a post-nuptials trek to the most romantic real estate in this great country: the Honeymoon States of Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, and Pennsylvania.
That's played for laughs, even though this presidential hopefully maintaining one percent of the vote and his place in the conversation understands the real Americans who have blood in their hair and sweat with their hands better than any of his siblings. It's the type of honeymoon Willa's mom/grape enthusiast may have gone on back in her day.
In the interest of content, let's rank the stops on the celebration of love/campaign tour:
We all saw what happened to Jerry Seinfeld when he had to spend a weekend in Pennsylvania Dutch country. There are pretzel factories and chocolate factories where everyone doesn't sleep together in a large bed. Tool around the Western part of the state and you might bump into a Hall of Fame NFL quarterback.
Connor would simply hate Madison. So much. Even if the Cheeseheads and Conheads have some crossover. If you squint long enough, the Dells kind of feel like a place Adrien Brody would wear 14 layers of clothing while venturing capital.
The couple might actually enjoy a long weekend in Saugatuck before some sort of cultural war conversation derailed the whole thing. Any visit to Detroit would also mean they'd get to proformatively wear hard hats and look ridiculous at a plant, which we all know helps electibility.
Nice place. Quiet. Minneapolis is secretly the best Midwestern city. Tom is desperate so could provide some quality recs. Might even join them.